I didn't vote for either George Bush
Superbowl Sunday is my New Years
I don't tear the tags off my mattresses 'til I get home
I always stop to pet dogs outside of grocery stores
I'm likely to be sporting a different style every time you see me
I only use the rail when I walk down the stairs 30% of the time ( I love to walk the line ya know)
I've never read Playboy for the articles
I'll make you laugh
I've never been in one of Tommy Lee's movies
I'll never under cook the eggs
I'll never drink your last beer
I can make a mean pot of chili
I'll pretend I didn't see you look at that chick with the big boobs
I'll always be impressed with how strong you are
I know that handcuffs aren't just for the cops
I've never kicked a boy in the balls
I recycle
I do know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop
I won't steal the vicoden out of your medicine cabinet
I'll take care of you when you're sick and sometimes just because I think you're the shit
I'll make fun of you
I come with my own set of ear plugs in case of snoring
I can give a kick ass back rub
I haven't been a house guest of O.J. Simpson
I like football
I can't stand soaps
I've got a sweet hook up
I don't care if you leave the seat up
I never backseat drive
I think chicks are hot
I have some pretty sweet tattoos
I can pump my own gas
I don't give a shit if I break a nail
I've got cookies
I don't chew tobacco
I take a shower every day, twice even sometimes
I like it when you tug my hair
I'll let you beat me at pool
I'll keep working until I chip away at your walls
I don't care that you go out with the boys
I don't eat crackers in bed too often
I think it's hot when you come home all dirty from playing hard
I like it when dogs sleep on the bed
I can't stand the mall
I don't care what music we listen to in the car
I've never eaten a bon-bon in my life
My closet comes equipped with a crap ton of hoodies
I'd never ask you to go to lunch with my mother
When you wash the dishes, it turns me on
My heart will jump every time you walk through the door
I don't care if you cut your toe nails in the living room
I'll save everything you ever give me
I won't ever forget your birthday, and remind you when mine is coming
I can pee standing up (it's totally gross though)
I think Project Runway is effing lame
You just can't stop reading this!
I've never even seen one episode of Dawson's Creek or Gilmore Girls
I always use my nails to scratch a lottery ticket
I know where to put in the oil, and have even done it
I'll think you're just about the coolest person I know
My friends are hot
I don't have hardly any close guy friends
I've never owned one pink frilly thing
I think pizza and a game at the sports bar down the street is the ideal date
I won't screw your friends
I won't screw your brother
The louder the better
What the hell is "in the box"?
I always open a window when I paint
I've never been on Americas Most Wanted
The only drama I have any part of is on t.v. or on a stage
I don't care if you watch my girly movies with me
I know how to make a fire
I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue about 50% of the time
I've got a love for good (and bad) beer
My kisses will take your breath away
I dig PDAs
I didn't vote for the smoking ban
I don't care if you leave your socks on
You'll never have to do your laundry again
My best friend isn't a guy
I can't stand John Mayer
My burritos are the bomb
I never drive faster than 30 mph in a school zone
My weird habits you'll find adorable
You'll sleep better when I'm next to you
I'd screw Jennifer Aniston too
I'll thank you every time you open the door
I'll never waste your love
I'll laugh at every joke even when it's not funny
I'd never give you shit in front of your friends
It gets better every time
Use as much salt as you want; I don't care
I won't ever let you leave for work in the morning without your lunch
I'm the kind of girl that pees behind bushes when camping
I'll help you find your keys
I don't stop and ask for directions either
I don't have a big brother, so you don't have to worry about getting your ass kicked ever
I've got mean skills in the kitchen or on the grill
I try not to pick my nose, or butt in public
We can watch your movie first
I've never owned anything Hello Kitty
I don't need batteries
I once ate a cricket
I eat red meat
I can kill my own spiders
I'll clean the house perfect every time your mom comes
I'll always have smooth legs
I like it when my hair gets messed up
I used to be able to put my feet behind my neck
My family is just as effed up as yours
I don't want to get married right now
My kids already have a dad
I'll always want more
I like horror movies
I smell pretty good most of the time
I don't litter
When I can I give to charity
I can be ready in 30 minutes or less
I lose at arm wrestling every time
I look both ways before I cross the street
I have cable and Cinemax
I never look directly into the sun
I'll look cute in your shirt
I have a movie collection of almost 200 dvds/videos
You're hotter and more hilarious than anyone I know
I'll show you my boobs at the store when nobody's looking
I old enough to remember when the Berlin Wall came down
I still get carded almost every time I get booze
I won't ever leave makeup on your shoulder
I've never hung a pair of panty hose on the shower rack in my life
I like it when you call me "woman"
I can balance a check book
I'll help you not to forget your mom's birthday
I would never yell "fire" in a crowded theatre
I"m really good at sneaking food into the movies
I was Best Sense of Humor and Princess of Spirit in school
I'll never say "nothing's wrong" when there really is
I know how to hold my own hair back when I puke
My fingers can spill out Mary Had A Little Dream on the piano better than Ray Charles (okay, not really, but I like to think they do)
I've never cried over spilt milk
I have never stabbed anyone in the eye
I can count to 100 by 5's
I've never smuggled drugs out of the country
I don't care if you eat dinner without a shirt
I think it's hot when you doing guy things
I never overload the washer
What else have you got to do?
I know that whipped cream goes on more than sundaes
I've never auditioned for American Idol
I don't eat yellow snow
I like it when you use my kids as an excuse to play little kids games
My Sunday morning breakfasts will change your life
My chin fits 'just right' in your shoulder when you hold me close
I'll understand if you get jealous
I'm just that good
I never had sexual relations with Bill Clinton... or anyone named Bill ever
I'm a firecracker
You're getting very sleepy...
I've never been on Jerry Springer
I may have already won $10,000,000.
You won't be able to get me out of your head
I know that sticks are better than automatics
I'll let you drive every time if you want
I buy a new toothbrush every time the blue wears down
I know that objects in the mirror are bigger than they appear
I would never smoke the last one
I would never send you to the store for tampons
Flowers will get you laid every time
I've never gotten caught lip syncing on SNL
I have a $5.15 credit on iTunes
I have clean socks that you can borrow if you run out
I never leave the engine running while I'm running into 7-11 "for a second"
I never run with scissors
I've taken the Coke/Pepsi challenge and won
Almost every time I have a winning bottle top
I know how to keep a secret
If you spell something wrong I just think it's cute
I've never failed a survey
I can almost every time find Waldo
I never put my fingers in the light socket
I'm a Scorpio
I have all my shots
It's okay, I don't really expect you to last longer than 10 minutes anyways
I'm pretty damn funny
I'm not a doctor, and I've never played one on t.v. either
I don't care if you eat off my plate
None of my friends are guys I used to have sex with
When you're sleeping I'll always try to be quiet
I have never run out of gas more than three times (well I just effed myself there now, didn't I?)
I know the difference between they're, their, and there
You really kinda would dig having someone to cuddle with on the couch
I know how to get stains out of tshirts
I've seen every episode of "The Shield"
I've got rad hair
I know how to leave you satisfied and hungry for more every time
I'm really good at making lists
After reading this far you've already got too much time invested anyways
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