thought...

‎"So don't let the world bring you down. Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold. Remember why you came and while you're alive experience the warmth before you grow old."

if bad things happen in threes...

...then I dread la troisième chose that is surely not too far from popping up it's ugly head and throwing off my groove.

One of my close friends is in the hospital with cardiomyopathy. She has three kids and a husband, but doesn't like to be taken care of. She's too stubborn. Basically, the condition is one where there is a heart defect, but the doctor's can't fix it. We're still waiting to hear if a heart transplant is feasible...and I pray that it is. I don't know what we'd do without her.

I lost my big brother. I've been de-adopted it would seem. I'm not going to air out his dirty laundry on here, because it's not for me to do...but I will say this: I am in no way shape or form responsible for the actions and decisions that others made last week before I even talked to them. I do not deserve to be the scapegoat for the drama that I did not cause and refuse to feed into.

Okay, fate...bring it on.

ramblin'

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
I took the doors off my closet to show the monsters that I'm not scared of them!

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
Of course...but only if they don't smell like butt.

3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Out, most of the time.

4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
No, but there have been quite a few I've really wanted to.

5. Do you like to use post-it notes?
Yes!

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
Yes haha, I'm always "Ooh! I can use this!" then always forget. haha

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
Neither???? BUT, If I had to choose...bear. Get it over with quickly.

8. Do you have freckles?
only on my legs and back...it's so weird.

9. Do you always smile for pictures?
For the most part

10. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Bad spelling/..grammar, and people who text/type like so; "omfg, hes lyke so hawt i havnt seen any1 lyke dat b4" it really upsets me...especilly when it's my MOTHER or my friends that are over the age of 21. You're an adult. Stop texting me like you're 14. USE PROPER GRAMMER!!!!

11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
Only if I'm bored...

12. Have you ever peed in the woods?
Haha yes! It is officially not a camping trip until you've whizzed behind a bush in the woods.

14. Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?
Only every effing day!

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils?
depends on the level of stress or level of thought I'm at

16. How many people have you slept with this week?
Dude....even if I had, do you seriously think I would admit to it?

17. What size is your bed?
The perfect size... I <3 my queen sized futon!

18. What is your Song of the week?
Hell on the Heart - Eric Church (aka "Sam's Theme: 2010")

19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Yes....if they want to look like idiots/douches/asshats

20. Do you still watch cartoons?
Guilty as charged... BUT it's Family Guy and South Park, so I'm not a complete loser.

21. Whats your least favorite movie?
Really? Why would I admit to my least favorite movie? That's putting information that can be used against me in the future for torture reasons. I'm pleading the Fifth Amendment.

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
A pirate never reveals such things....

23. What do you drink with dinner?
water....or beer if I'm at BBQ night

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
Ketchup or ranch that has chipotle tabasco in it

25. What is your favorite food?
B to the B to the Q!

26. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
A lot of movies! Like Goonies, Enchanted, Walk the Line, Grease, Sweeney Todd, and lots of others. (:

27. Last person you kissed/kissed you?
Jordinian this morning when I gave him some Motrin to help bring his fever down. Poor boy...

28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
Yes! 10 years!

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
Psssssh...tchea right. No one wants to see that.

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
A few weeks ago. I love writing letters. It's a lost art.

31. Can you change the oil on a car?
Sure thing, jelly bean.

32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Once. It was bogus. There is no way I would *ever* go 37 in a school zone! When following someone! With people in my car!

33. Ran out of gas?
Story of my life....

34. Favorite kind of sandwich?
Subway meatball with American on Italian bread...mmmmmm......

35 Best thing to eat for breakfast?
Huevos, bacon, toast, hashbrowns...and maybe a shortstack

36. What is your usual bedtime?
Whenever I'm sleepy....usually around midnightish

37. Are you lazy?
No. I hate just sitting around!!!!

38. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
a lot of girly things....

39. What is your Chinese astrological sign?
I am a Rat!!!!

40. How many languages can you speak?
Six. Sarcasm, English, French, Blonde, Profane, Drunk (this language was learned over my time as a barwench. You get very good at translating slurred speech)

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Not anymore.

42..Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Legos hands down. Why is this even an question?

43. Are you stubborn?
More often than not. (:

44. Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
Neither! I'M ON TEAM O'BRIEN! SAVE CONAN!!!!!!


45. Ever watch soap operas?
No

46. Afraid of heights?
Nahhh

47. Sing in the car?
Every chance I get

48. Dance in the shower?
...yes. I dance everywhere!

49. Dance in the car?
Did I not just say "I dance everywhere"?

50. Ever used a gun?
Sure have. It's about time to go shooting again, don't you agree ladies?

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
Tori and JP's wedding in August.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
No! That is a horrible thing to think! I love me my musicals!

53. Is Christmas stressful?
It can be. Shopping, endless parties, money, family.....it's a lot to take sometimes.

54. Ever eat a pierogi?
Yep! Cheddar and potato ones...mmmmmmmmm....

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
Apple

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Uh....vet, actress, singer, ruler of the world.....

57. Do you believe in ghosts?
why not?

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
Yes, all the freaking time.

59. Take a vitamin daily?
I try.

60. Wear slippers?
YES! I'm not really a sock person, so slippers are divine!

61. Wear a bath robe?
on rare occasion.

62. What do you wear to bed?
Whatever I want. Tank top and boxers/undies usually.

63. First concert?
Jars of Clay.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
TARGET!!!

65. Nike or Adidas?
Converse

66.Cheetos Or Fritos?
Cheetos, as long as they are the puffy kind!

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Actully, I prefer cashews or almonds...

68. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
Nope

69. Ever take dance lessons?
Yes!!!! I love them so!

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
Something he is happy with and uses his talents to the max!

71. Can you curl your tongue?
Mais, oui.

72. Ever won a spelling bee?
Nope...but that's probably because I've never entered one,.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Yes. I have.

74. Own any record albums?
Sooo many! I love my record player!

75. Own a record player?
Yes. It's kind of retarded to not have one if you have records. Psssh.

76. Regularly burn incense?
Not anymoree.

77. Ever been in love?
Yep...once.

78. Who would you like to see in concert?
OH geez....Dropkick Murphys, Flogging Molly, Sugarland, Brad Paisley, Miranda Lambert, GRETCHEN WILSON

79. What was the last concert you saw?
I can't keep track anymore. I have friends that are in bands and have friends that work at venues. Since April 2 of this year, I've seen The Tanked, Ditch Digger, Highwater (all bands of my friends), The Whiskey Spots (awesome band that played after Highwater), and the Old 97's (fanfreakingtastic show!). There's another Ditch Digger show in 2 weeks from today, and I'm seriously excited about it. It's my Birthday Show!

80.Hot tea or cold tea?
Hot tea...unless a nice glass of Sweet Tea is available.

81.Tea or coffee?
Depends on my mood!

82. Sugar or snicker doodles?
Snicker doodles. Sugar cookies are the poseurs of the cookie world...they can be anything just to make you happy. A tree. A pumkin. A heart....it's disgusting how it can't just be itself.

83.Can you swim well?
I can swim.

84.Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
haha! Yes...thank you years of clarinet playing!

85. Are you patient?
Sometimes, but it's not a trait I'm known for.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
It depends..... *if* I ever get married again, it will probably be a dj and karaoke for some parts of the reception. BUT if you want to sing at my wedding (even for karaoke), you have to audition. lol

87.Ever won a contest?
Yes! ....karaoke contests!!!!

88. Ever have plastic surgery?
Nope. I'm too po' fo' that.

89. Which are better black or green olives?
Black!

90.Can you knit or crochet?
Crochet

91. Best room for a fireplace?
Living room or bedroom

92. Do you want to get married?
Undecided. I think I want to get married again, but I'm kind of cynical about relationships these days

93. If married, how long have you been married?
I'm don't want to talk about it

94. Who was your HS crush?
Hahaha ...

95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
No, I am not a 4 year old.

96. Do you have kids?
J'ai deux enfants.

97. Do you want kids?
One more eventually way down the road, then I'm *done*!!!!

98. Whats your favorite color?
Turquoise, brown, green, blue.

99. Do you miss anyone right now?
I sure do.

Day 30.... Fin.

It's been 30 days already. Wow. I can hardly believe it. It just flew by, and I'm not sure if it's because of the challenge or because lately the months just seems to fly by as if to say "You're getting really old, and there's nothing you can do about it!"

Here's a picture of me taken the other night at my friend Chris' birthday crawl...and in the picture with me is my dude friend, Jason. He's pretty cool, even if he's a Ducks fan.


In the last 30 days, I've learned that I really do use sarcasm not only for humorous purposes, but also as a defense mechinism...and it does have a tendency to get me into trouble every now and again. Okay, a lot. It gets me in trouble a lot.
I've learned that a true friend forgives every time, and for the first time I saw it in action and not just on my end. Fantastic!
I've learned that I get distracted waaaaaaaay to easily with real life to just sit for five minutes and get my thoughts out on paper (or on a blog) everyday. Spontenaeity is something I relish in, and sometimes it comes back to bite me in the ass.

Overall, the challenge was interesting, and a good experience. I do think I shall try another one come New Years, just to see if I can do it.

And now...back to our regularly scheduled programming!

29 Days Down...

Karaoke. The word sums up a lot of "Who Is Sam?" I love it. The microphone in my hand, the chance to sing and be heard, the rush of it all. I can never get sick of it. It's my crack. You can call it the lowest form of entertainment if you want, but I think it's glorious...and that's coming from a drama kid!

Day 28...

HEYYYYYY YOOOOOOOOOOOU GUUUYYYYYYYYYYYYYYS!

I'm a Goonie, and as a native Oregonian, I think it means more. I love driving the hour and twenty minutes to Astoria and taking in the sights, smells, and vibe of it all. If you've never seen this classic (and there are a shocking number of you who haven't), shame on you. Yes, it's corny and the epitome of 80's movies, but come on! Awesomeness awaits on One Eyed Willie's ship, The Inferno.


I will never betray my Goon Dock friends, we will stick together until the whole world ends. Through heaven and hell and nuclear war, good pals like us will stick like tar. In the city or the country or the forest or the boonies, I am proudly declared one of the Goonies.

And...fail

*sigh* I hate how sometimes at the end of the day I fail to remember to sit down for FIVE STINKING SECONDS and do my challenge. Fail.

Day 25...
Ah, the female's purse. Her bag of tricks. The container to all her secrets. The source of her "power". I thank bbq everyday that I'm not one of those girls who stashes everything she owns in her purse for "just in case" moments. (that's what my car's trunk is for. duh.)
As a mom, and as a 25 year old female humanoid, I have a spattering of different items in my purse depending on the day, and of course which bag I decided to sport that fine day.
Today, it's my medium sized Guess? purse (complete with matching wallet). So...wallet, keys, coin purse, smut novel, chapstick, gum wrappers, ticket stubs from the zoo, guitar picks that have fallen out of my coin purse that I'm just too lazy to put back, my phone and pack of lung cancer sticks. Exciting, right? Whooooo! It's like a party in my shoulderbag. *rolls eyes*
Don't get too excited...sometimes I even have a comb in there. Yeah. Real party girl on the move.

Day 26...
A photo of somewhere I've been to...what the deuce? As a traveler, I love going places, both old and familiar and also new and exciting.
Earlier this year during Spring Break, I had the opportunity to drive from the Rose City all the way to "exotic" Fort Dodge, Iowa. (I was delivering a car for one of my dad's former elderly employees) I traveled through 8 states in 3 days. I got to see a lot of places I had wanted to visit in the midwest, but had lacked the chance to. I nerded out. A lot.
Two stops on the way to Iowa I was more excited about than all the others. Yes, I did in fact find places more exciting than the Corn Palace in Wyoming (it does exist)... Deadwood, South Dakota; and the Little Big Horn Battlefield. However, I lost my heart in the Black Hills...and it's Deadwood FTW!


So much history! So beautiful! So...western! The town embodies everything you think the Wild West would, could, and should have been. Love it...and I can't wait to go back.

Day 27...
Another "post a picture of yourself from ago and one of now? Seriously? Are we having fun yet?

Samantha: Autumn 2009

Ah, Oahu.... Hawaii speaks to my soul. The attitude, the people, the weather, the....well, everything...never fails to make me feel like I belong. I'm never unhappy there (and it's not the tropical drinks that make me say that). Last fall, I had the chance to spend 4 days there with my best friend, Nephi, and her now husband in Honolulu. He was home on leave from Iraq, and it was around my birthday. This spelled VACATION! I had not had a real vacation in years. I was turning 25. I needed to get out of dodge. It had been a rough rough year, and everyone knew that time away from home was needed, so I was sent to the Aloha State to get away "from it all". Not complaining. I had a blast. I had never taken a vacation without my family and just friends. I had never been that far away from my kids in their entire lives. I had never completely un-wound from all the stresses of the last 5 years and enjoyed myself.
The gorgeous sunsets, exploring the island everyday, scorching sun and dripping humidity, never ending games of Your Team, and two of my best friends made for a vacation I will never forget. And, I gotta say...I'm ready for Hawaii: Part Deux. Hint hint.

Samantha: Autumn 2010

Yes. This is the same girl in the previous photo. Attractive, ain't she? Who could resist that....face? LOL!
Everyone changes with each passing year. Thier hairstyle. Clothes. Underwear (hopefully). Why fight it? I've found that in the past year, my sarcasm has really come out, even more than before. My understanding of love has grown. My ability to withstand personal hardships has strengthened. My drive is more focused. I've become a better parent, friend, daughter, musician all because of it. I wouldn't trade any of my "learning experiences" for anything.
I know who and what mean the most to me. I know where I stand and what I believe in more than ever before...and it's a good feeling to have.