Dear Kipper-
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch which side of me you are standing next to.
The dish with the paw print is yours and contains your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a queen size bed. I am very sorry about this. I have no room to spare for one, nor the fundage to get one. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the very edge of my bed to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to my body and the bed frame, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking your tail straight out and having your snout stretched out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.
When I am using the Wii for exercise or entertainment, jumping up and trying to grab the Wii remote from my hand is not helpful. Barking at me because I'm not helping you achieve your goal does not win you any extra brownie points.
My compact discs and DVDs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the
edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine attendance is not mandatory despite what you may think.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs butt at the park/doggy day care/on a walk, etc. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
My dog is afraid of other dogs and does not smell their butts. He cowers behind my legs at the park as though Peanut, the fluffy thing half his size, is Hannibal Lector. Other than that he is pretty much like this. Thank you for making me smile.
ReplyDeleteAwwww puppy obsession. So cuuute! haha
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